Stephen ‘tWitch’ Boss’ wife Allison Holker says his outgoing personality wasn’t ‘natural’ and would exhaust him

Allison Holker shares for the first time that her late husband had two sides. There was Stephen boss, the man she knew intimately and who would become her life partner and father of her two children. And then there was Stephen “twitch” bossthe “entertainer” that the public came to love.

But in a new interview in Taylor Lautner and the Tay Lautner podcast, The squeezeHolker shares that he was not an extrovert by nature. Fans certainly saw it that way, given his energetic personality as the beloved DJ on The Ellen DeGeneres Show and her countless dance videos and inspirational posts on social media. But that personality of hers didn’t come naturally to him, and in the end, it took its toll on him. Boss died by suicide in December 2022. He was 40 years old.

“So, Stephen. It’s interesting. I knew him as Stephen. A lot of people knew him as ‘tWitch’. Two very different humans,” Holker prefaced his response when asked if “Twitch’s mental health issues were always part of his life or a more recent challenge. He carried this ‘tWitch’ persona and it became part of who he was. but that outgoing personality was not natural for him. So when he came out as ‘tWitch’ and made sure to spread all this love, joy and positivity and was dancing all the time for people (an artist and all), he would drain the energy out of him. And he had to come home and he always told me… our house was his safe place. He would then come home and have to recharge his battery.”

But while for some recharging their battery may mean a series of relaxing activities, for Boss it meant diving into a darker space before exiting that realm.

“When you say recharge your battery, that also comes with the state of depression because you’re so low. And you had to let him have that space to really find himself in a darker space, let him live in that.” Holker shared. “But he always found a way out. So a lot of the things Stephen and I talked about were these tools where he was really trying to help himself, like, ‘I’m reading these self-help books.'” books. I’m listening to podcasts. I’m talking to friends. “I’m trying to connect with people.”

She continued, “And that’s why I always thought that even though you’re dealing with that lower side of yourself that you don’t let other people see, it seemed like he was really dealing with it.”

For the better part of 13 years, Holker watched her husband address his mental health and be honest with himself. He often did this by being honest with her.

“Like, ‘I need to take a second to myself. I need some space. I need this,'” Holker remembers saying. “But at the end of the day, I think maybe he needed some extra help that I wasn’t aware of at the time: talking to a therapist, maybe some medication too. But I wasn’t aware. I think he was too. Because I think who also thought he was dealing with it because he would say, ‘I’m down. Give me some time to get it back.'”

Stephen “tWitch” Boss with Allison Holker and their children, Weslie, Maddox and Zaia, at the premiere of “Minions: The Rise of Gru” on June 25, 2022 in Hollywood, California.getty

Holker and Boss shared three children: Weslie, 16, Maddox, 8, and Zaia, 4. Last January, Holker spoke to ET and revealed that she didn’t dance for months after her husband’s death.

“I didn’t dance, I mean, almost five months after (Boss’ death). It took me a long time,” Holker admitted to ET. “That was something that was very close, obviously, to each and every memory that I really share with Stephen. It kind of crosses the area of ​​our lives individually, and especially together. There were parts of me that didn’t know if I was ready.” I almost felt like maybe if I dance for the first time it would be my final release from him. I don’t know if I was trying to hold on to him or if I was afraid to share that with him. I’m not sure which it was, but it took me a long time to do it. “.

“I will say that I called my friend Brittany Russell and said, ‘I think I’m ready to dance,’ but I didn’t want to do it alone. I was too scared to do it alone,” she continued. . “I called her… She came and we danced.”

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